Learning Self Compassion For The Compassionate Early Childhood Educator

I want you to begin this journey by appreciating yourself and all you have done to get to this point. There is no question that you love this career otherwise you wouldn’t be here wanting to better yourself. Thank yourself for showing up everyday to be there for the children in your care, better yet thank yourself for getting out of bed and preparing yourself to be there for the children in your care. Or even better thank yourself for getting to bed and giving yourself a good night's sleep so you can wake up and prepare yourself to be there for the children in your care. Do you see where I am going with this? 

Before I go on I should explain that everything from this point on is your choice, you will get out what you put into this process. There will be many opportunities throughout these blogs to step aside and look inward. I am a BIG fan of taking notes and journaling when in reflection so I invite you to do the same throughout this journey and make your own learning decisions too. Not a fan of journal reflection? Bring up a question you read with a trusted colleague and start a conversation revolving around your personal thoughts and opinions, you will be amazed by how much you learn about yourself by listening to someone else's perspective. Are you the quiet one at work? That's okay (I am too), it's okay to keep this journey to yourself but don’t be afraid to share something that inspires you. Inspiration is contagious. This is about you and finding the love for your career but I guarantee you there is another ECE near you needing the very same guidance. 

Now where was I? Yes; thanking and appreciating yourself. When was the last time you thought to yourself “That was good”, “I did good”? That may be a hard question to answer right now, and that's okay. Here is another one that may be easier. Are you kind to yourself? I know, that hits the feels. But really answer honestly and follow the next prompt accordingly. 

If your answer was:

      Yes

Wonderful! You win!

Actually, I am going to call that a lie. Sorry, but I don’t believe you. Is it really yes all of the time? Every time you speak, every time you get dressed, every time you forget something, every time you witness an incident, every time you get feedback from your supervisor, every time you are part of a non-compliance or the indirect cause of a child’s tears. This is not to make you feel bad about any of that, in fact quite the opposite. I am just trying to get you closer to the truth to what may be making you unhappy with your work. Get ready.. It’s you. No it’s not you in the sense that you are awful at your job and you should leave the field, never ever believe that. It is you because that voice in your head, the voice that wants you to believe you are bad at your job. If you have that voice and you listen to that voice.. 

Your answer was:

       No

Why? Why are you unkind to yourself? You are a wonderful human being who chose to dedicate your working life to raising the next generation and teach them how to be their own human beings. Don’t you even foster a foundation for well-being, self regulation and emotional intelligence with those little human beings? Do you practice what you preach? 

How do you even start to be kind to yourself? Easy, just ECE yourself. What?! You have an extraordinary capacity for compassion and you use this everyday with the children in your care. Now I want you to turn that compassion around on yourself. I am implying you turn it around in a very literal sense. I want you to speak to yourself in a gentle affirming way as if you were speaking to a child. You have probably heard of affirmations before; a highly positive statement you say to yourself in order to reframe your focus on positivity rather than negativity. Your task for this chapter will be to come up with a list of positive affirmations that are the positive opposite of your most common personal criticisms. Make the list as long as you need, keep writing until you have a positive match for every negative. The second part of this task will then be to use and remind yourself of those affirmations any time one of those criticisms pop up. In the event that a criticism comes up I want you to say the affirmation. Say it so you believe it. And keep saying it until you believe it. 

Put this into practice and something amazing will happen. You will actually convince yourself to believe those positive affirmations. Your brain is a very powerful muscle but it can easily be swayed by negativity, my personal belief is it is easier to let the brain live in negativity. Negativity fosters inactivity and that is easier on the body and the brain because it inevitably doesn't have to do anything. The hard route is choosing positivity, training the brain to search for the light and choose to be active in order to thrive. This first task may seem small but it is a huge step that is the very foundation the rest of these posts will build upon. As you continue to read you will gain more skills and methods that will help you maintain this positive strength and ultimately help you choose your own happiness when it comes to your career and ultimately your life.